


we’ll be here for you

by orphan_account



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, Cute Ending, F/M, First Crush, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, High School Musical References, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Seb Matthew-Smith, Pining, Secrets, Song Lyrics, Theatre, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, supportive friends !
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Seb?” E.J. inquires, maybe a bit hesitant, and then looks around the table, asking the question nobody else seems to want to. “Who are you dating that’s making you so excited?”“I’m not dating anybody, but I love Valentine’s Day! It’s so happy, and cute, and… ugh,” Seb groans, though they’re evidently excited, still, “Nearly everyone’s in a good mood on Valentine’s Day!”“Single people usually aren’t.”Seb narrows their eyes. “Valentine’s Day isn’t only for showing love to a partner, it’s also about your friends and family, too! They’re equally as important! Actually,” Seb suddenly seems to get an idea, “I’m going to bring everybody Valentine’s cards! Especially the ones who are single. I think everyone deserves to feel loved, no matter what!”(or, all seb wants is to have a good valentine’s day with their crush)
Relationships: Big Red/Ashlyn Caswell, E.J. Caswell/Gina Porter, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts, Seb Matthew-Smith & Everyone, Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	we’ll be here for you

**Author's Note:**

> i have lots of notes lol 
> 
> -this ain’t canon but in this story, only seb and gina are sophomores and everyone aside from ej (who’s a senior) are juniors. i’m p sure carlos and ashlyn are the only ones who've changed grades for this :D 
> 
> -established couples are not really mentioned but they’re ashlyn and big red, nini and ricky, ej and gina (in an alternate universe where they’re actually a couple that gets along well fight me!) and kourtney is single
> 
> -they’re all choir nerds mostly bc i need them in an extracurricular together that isn’t theatre cause the shows over so they can intermingle between grades better
> 
> -also seb is nb but they’re not out to anybody so when ppl are speaking about them out loud or thinking about them from their perspective (? if that makes sense,,, ull see) and not sebs it’ll be he/him/his pronouns but that’s on purpose ! basically if “he” is ever used in regards to them it’s not an accident !
> 
> -seb’s the baby in the group and is always very happy but has a bit of internal things going on and they learn to confide in and trust their friends with their feelings (there’s no projecting going on here at all wtf !) … is this just a fic about a newfound seb emotional support group? i think so. their friends think they’re babie but what’s new ??? 
> 
> -seb and gina, kourtney, nini and ej solidarity is all i’ve ever needed and there’s not nearly enough content with seb and anyone but carlos so i am determined to change that
> 
> -the aud is not the hsm aud — it’s more of a big open space with some bleachers and a piano
> 
> and finally, just a bit of a thing from me: i love love and i love valentine’s day and i also love seb and these characters. therefore this story has been born. i banged this fic out in three days and honestly i didn’t want it to be the nearly 15k monster it is but here we are baby !! i’ve never written a hsmtmts fic before so i hope this goes over well (big eyes emoji lol)
> 
> hope y’all like it !!

It’s only the middle of January when Seb’s Valentine’s Day catastrophe begins. 

See, this kid is an enigma that nobody seems to quite be able to sort out entirely — they’re often described as someone most excitable, happy and positive, and for fair reason — they don't really seem to have bad days, and if they do, they seem to be pretty sensational at hiding it. 

If one of their friends seems to be having a bad day, though, they’re on it, pronto. If somebody’s upset over something? It’ll be solved by the end of the day thanks to Seb, no problem! That’s what everybody has always loved about them — they’re _selfless_. They _always_ seem to have a smile on their face. Never do they put themselves before their friends and castmates, whom it’s evident they love with nearly their entire being. They can light up a room they’ve just walked into. 

Plus, they have an… incredible voice. Astounding skill. Most anybody would like them. 

Everyone’s a bit jealous of their attitude, their positivity, and their talent. 

Especially Carlos. 

And he wasn’t really very good at hiding it, either, and all of their friends could see it with the way he smiles at Seb, or the way he laughs a bit too hard at their jokes, but if anyone was worse at picking up hints than Carlos, it was most certainly Seb themselves. 

Seb, possibly the most all around perfect person Carlos had ever met. The cutest, too. The happiest. 

But maybe also the most oblivious.

When Seb came out as liking boys but still being unsure, off-handedly, in a big group conversation after a late Saturday rehearsal for the show, everybody stood up and hugged them and encouraged them. Carlos did too, of course — but at the same time, after hearing such information, he just _knew_ the butterflies he felt for the kid would only multiply, and multiply, and they certainly did. 

And it sucks. 

Kind of. 

It makes him giddy and happy and smiley all of the time, but it also _sucks_. Feelings suck. Crushes _suck_.

Especially with Valentine’s Day right around the corner.

This… will be interesting.  
—  
Seb — the last one to arrive at lunch, as always — walks into the cafeteria with a smile on their face, gripping their backpack straps with their hands. They seem to have an extra pep in their walk, and by the time they arrived to the table, everybody’s curious as to what’s making them so happy today. 

“Spill, Seb,” someone says immediately, but Seb’s already opening their mouth to explain. 

“Guess what today is!” 

A generally collective, puzzled look falls over the faces of the group, and Seb pauses a moment so they can guess. Nobody does, but instead wait for them to give an answer. What was special about January 21st? Somebody’s birthday? Oh, God… 

“Don’t worry! It’s nothing bad. Nobody’s missed anything,” they assure as they look across the table, noticing a few panicked faces. “It’s not a birthday or anything. Valentine’s Day is in three weeks, today!” They finally sit down in between Kourtney and Big Red, both of whom very graciously make space for them to sit, and drops their bag next to their feet. “It’s exciting!” 

“Seb?” E.J. inquires, maybe a bit hesitant, and then looks around the table, asking the question nobody else seems to want to. “Who are you dating that’s making you so excited?” 

“I’m not dating anybody,” they shrug, nonchalant and honest, and Carlos — who’s been incredibly quiet since Seb announced their excitement — feels his heart surge a bit. _Thank God_. “But I love Valentine’s Day! It’s so happy, and cute, and… ugh,” they groan, though they’re evidently excited, still, “Nearly everyone’s in a good mood on Valentine’s Day!”

“Single people usually aren’t,” Ashlyn points out, and a few voices from around the table seem to agree with her. 

Seb narrows their eyes at her. “Valentine’s Day isn’t _only_ for showing love to a partner, it’s also about your friends and family, too! They’re equally as important! Actually,” Seb suddenly seems to get an idea, “I’m going to bring everybody Valentine’s cards! Especially the ones who are single. I think everyone deserves to feel loved, no matter what!” 

“Amen, kid,” Kourtney says, and nudges Seb, giving them a small grin of appreciation. “I, for one, think this is adorable, and I’m glad you’re making it positive even if you’re not in a relationship. Not everyone can say the same.”

A few members of the table complain, but Seb just beams. 

“Nobody’s saying it’s bad! It’s just… suspicious,” says E.J., eyeing Seb again. Seb raises their hands in defense. “I’ve never seen a single person so excited to see capitalistic romance get shoved down his throat for a day.” 

“It’s Seb,” Nini points out, and gives Seb an encouraging smile, much like Kourtney did. “Seb’s positive about nearly everything. I think we can all learn a thing or two from him, right, E.J.?” 

E.J. rolls his eyes, and their conversation continues as usual. It never put Seb in a bad mood, though — nothing can put a damper on their excitement for this holiday. 

Well… _nearly_ nothing.  
—  
“Gina?” Seb whispers, leaning over the side of their desk to look at Gina, who’s still taking down the chemistry notes currently on the board. 

It’s fourth period, Chemistry, and Seb and Gina share the class together. Since Seb’s younger than most of the rest of their friend group, they don’t have many classes with anybody else, but they _do_ have Gina for Chem. 

In short, Seb’s been bored out of their mind for nearly an hour, listening to their teacher go on and on about _whatever_ it is that this unit is on (balancing equations? Physics? They couldn’t tell you) and their mind has been wandering (which is nearly always a dangerous move). 

“I think I need your help.” 

She finishes off the sentence she’d been taking down, and then looks up at Seb, giving them nothing but a quirked eyebrow. “Can I message you about it later? I trust you, and I think I need help with something.” 

Gina nods, and gives Seb a smile, returning her attention back to the teacher, her face dropping. 

“Seb? Gina? Anything you’d like to share?” 

Both of the teens shake their heads quickly, and aptly start to write down the new notes that have now changed on the PowerPoint. 

They both giggle silently. 

“I’ll message you after school.”  
—  
After the final bell from fifth period Foundations — the only other class Gina and Seb share — Seb promptly pulls her aside, and she’s a bit confused at first, until Seb guides her down to their locker hallway and they explain.

“So I realized I probably shouldn’t message you about this, in retrospect,” Gina raises her eyebrows, because — wow, this suddenly became a lot more interesting, and of course Seb — of all people — would use the word _in retrospect_ in casual conversation. “I don’t think I want proof of it anywhere.” 

Gina almost laughs at them, but doesn’t. She has no idea what this is about, quite honestly, and she’s secretly _really_ excited to find out. She’s never really been included in any of the latest drama at school due to her moves, so this seems like something that’ll be right up her alley. 

“What is it?” 

Seb looks around and sees that the majority of kids have cleared the hallways to go home, so they figure that it’s probably — hopefully — safe enough. They arrive at Seb’s locker, and with shaking hands, they open the lock. 

“I…” they start, and then their voice gets quiet. They drop their hand as the lock clicks open, and they turn to Gina. Suddenly they’re not so confident about what they wanted help with. They furrow their eyebrows. “I think maybe, uh, I think maybe that I like somebody?” They say, but it ends up coming out much faster than Gina was able to understand, so she simply laughs and waits for them to repeat themselves. Seb turns quickly back to their locker. 

They seem defeated. 

“Hey, Seb, it’s okay. I’m not judging you for whatever it is. You said you trust me, in Chem,” she says, nudging Seb, hoping for him to turn back and look at her. “I wouldn’t break that. I’m actually a bit honoured, to be honest.” 

Seb smiles a bit. They take a deep breath, then turn back to Gina. “I think… I like somebody. And I want to maybe ask them out before Valentine’s Day. And I really need somebody’s moral support. And… maybe a plan of action?” They seem to brace themselves for the worst. 

Gina wants to jump around with excitement. Nobody’s ever trusted her with talking about crushes before — really, she can’t remember a time this has _ever_ happened — but she never expected it to be _Seb_ of all people! This was maybe the best day of her life!

“Oh, Seb!” She nearly squeals, and wraps her arms around Seb’s shoulders, pulling them into a tight hug, hardly minding the open locker. “That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you! Thank you for trusting me!”

A few girls standing near them turn around and give Gina the stink eye for squealing, and Seb mentally cringes a bit. 

Seb lets out a bit of a giggle, though, disregarding those judgy girls, and hugs Gina right back. “I — thanks! And you’re welcome! Uh… you don’t even want to know who it is?” 

Gina then pulls away, a determined look now on her face. That... hadn’t really crossed her mind. “Of course I do. If you want help, I definitely need to know who it is.” 

“Carlos —” they start, and then quickly shakes their head side to side, “But shut up! You can’t say _anything_ , you liked _E.J._!” 

“I’m not! And — ew, gross, I _did not_ — but, Seb, that’s really cute! I never saw you as someone with a crush before now, honestly. You seemed to stay as far away as you could from relationship drama during the show. How… how long have you liked him?” 

Seb opens their bag and takes the textbooks out, stuffing them in their locker and shutting the door, turning to Gina. “I’m not really sure, honestly? Definitely since last year sometime, but during the show this year, we practiced dancing together loads and I always felt really,” Seb pauses, searching for the right words to say, “really in sync with him, I guess? Dancing with him was easy. Way easier than with Rico, and he’s, like, a pro! And now, since the show’s been done and we’ve all been hanging out as a group more, I sort of keep finding myself wanting to be near him and talk to him more and stuff. I don’t know,” they finish, and their light skin is properly red now. “It’s kind of hard to explain.” 

Gina’s heart flutters — both with excitement for Seb and graciousness for herself. Nobody’s ever gushed to her about a crush before. She loves it. 

“You want to ask him out before Valentine’s Day?” She grins, turning to Seb as they walk down the hall, side by side. This really feels like a type of friendship she’s never experienced before moving here. 

Seb only nods, shrugging softly. “I’d like to.” 

“I think he’ll say yes. I think he likes you, too. Is he…?”

“I think so — I mean, he’s never _told_ me, told me, but… word of mouth and stuff, I guess. We’re really not _that_ close still. He’s, honestly, way too cool for me. I sort of, kind of can’t even believe he hangs out in a group with me. I get so nervous all of the time. Do you think anyone’s noticed?”

“I haven’t. I think everyone thinks you’re happy being single, but you guys would be good together! I think you both deserve a relationship. Everyone else in the group seems to be getting together with each other.”

“Not you?” 

Gina shrugs. “Can't tell. A woman never tells,” she pauses, “But men certainly seem to! I really can’t wait to see what happens with you guys. I think this’ll work out really well. How are you planning on telling him?” 

The two of them are suddenly at the front doors, and Seb can see their mom parked outside to pick them up. “I’m — I’m not sure yet. That’s kind of what I wanted you for?” They say, then turn quickly on their heel to Gina, “My mom is here, so can we talk tomorrow? We can brainstorm ideas? Please don’t tell anybody.”

“I won’t. Thank you for trusting me, again!”

“Thank you for listening. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Seb’s smiles softly, and then takes another step towards the door. 

“Of course.” 

“And don’t tell anybody!”

“I won’t!”

“You’re sure?” 

“Seb!” 

Gina watches Seb leave, giggling, and lets out a small giggle herself.

Carlos is a really lucky guy, she thinks. Anyone would be lucky to have _Seb_ crush on them.  
—  
At lunch the next day, Carlos notices how Seb seems to make a point to sit next to Gina as he arrives, and Carlos’s stomach flourishes with a deep burning, one that he can only describe as jealousy. His heart sinks a little bit, too. Surely Seb knew Gina and E.J. were a… a _thing_ , right? Why’d he seem so determined all of a sudden? 

Seb seems happy as ever, if maybe a little bit on edge. He’s not looked at Carlos at all since arriving. 

“How are you feeling, another day closer to your favourite day, Seb?” 

“Excited as ever!” Seb grins, then nudges Gina under the table. She can’t help but crack a small smile and glance at Carlos — which he does _not_ miss. What does that even mean? 

The rest of the hour continued as usual — Carlos and Seb sneaking small glances at each other across the table, especially — but that sort of _is_ per usual regardless. They certainly both seem to think they’re sly.  
—  
After fifth period, Seb nudges Gina to follow them to their locker so they can talk again. By the looks of her smirk as she nods to them, they can only hope she might even have an idea… 

And she does. 

At Seb’s locker, she’s excited to tell them she’d brainstormed a few ideas and was eager to let them know. 

“So you’re, like, incredible at piano and singing, right? Why don’t you write him a song?” Gina starts, “You can bring him to a practice room and play it for him and then you guys can be alone together,” she suggests as Seb opens their locker, emptying their bag’s contents onto the small shelf. 

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“I do! And it’s still a few weeks out to Valentine’s Day, so you’ll have ample time to get inspired. I don’t even think it has to be something too extraordinary, either. Just something easy and simple, you know?” 

Seb shuts their locker slowly, narrowing their eyes. “That… might work, actually. I — I like it!” 

“Really?” Gina exclaims, blinking back her surprise. “You do?” 

“He used to sit with me on the piano during breaks at practice and we’d mess around together on the keyboard. I think he’ll like it, and it’s definitely in my comfort zone!” 

Gina smiles. Yeah, she’s a great wing woman!  
—  
_nini: what was up with you and seb during lunch today?_

_nini: you guys seemed a bit weird_

Gina’s phone buzzed twice, and though she half-expected it to be Seb, she wasn’t at all surprised. Quickly picking up her phone and unlocking it, she reads Nini’s messages. 

Should she tell her what’s going on? 

On one hand, Seb trusted _her_ , and he didn’t seem to have told anybody else so far. 

But Nini was asking… 

_may i talk to nini about u and carlos?_

_seb: can i tell her myself?_

_ok!_

Gina quickly exited out of her and Seb’s conversation and re-opened Nini’s. 

_i’ve asked him to talk about it but at some point he’d like to tell you himself! it’s not really my thing to talk about_

_nini: okay! how were the rest of your classes today…_  
—  
Telling Nini, Seb figured, was going to be a lot harder than telling Gina was. For starters, Nini and Carlos in are the same grade and are in some of the same classes together, unlike him and Carlos who shared none. They seemed to be pretty close in that regard. Plus, Nini was a year older than Seb, and it’s definitely not that they felt _intimidated_ by her, per se, but they had a really good, _easy_ friendship with one another. They didn’t talk much about this kind of personal stuff with her — or with anybody, really. 

Plus, the more people that knew, the odds that Carlos would find out from word of mouth somewhere, and not from Seb themselves, grew tremendously. 

Seb’s shaking at the prospect of telling Nini as they enter the auditorium for choir. Here, their group isn’t bound to a seating arrangement like lunch at a table, and they tend to split off from each other a bit more.

In theory, it’d be the perfect time to tell her, but in practice…

“Hey, Seb!” They hear Gina call, and they look up to the voice, seeing most of the rest of their group sitting together in the bleachers. She’s waving them over, as usual. 

They smile a bit, but something’s definitely off. 

As soon as they approach the group, everyone can feel it. It’s incredible how much their presence is felt by the rest of the group. 

Gina seems to have a bit of a glint in her eye today, and they know that it’s because she wants them to tell Nini about Carlos, and probably about the song idea, too. 

And they wish they could, really. 

But somehow, the words die in their mouth before they can even call Nini’s name, so they simply take a seat next to Ricky who seems to be engaged in a heated conversation with E.J. and Ashlyn about God-knows-what, and wait silently until choir started. 

Gina was unsure as to whether she should go up and ask him what’s wrong, but she can’t seem to. A few others seem to notice, too. 

Seb being quiet is… is like the sky turning green, or the ocean suddenly going dry. It’s unnatural, and off-putting. 

He seems a bit sad. 

_gina!: are you alright?_

They don’t see the message until the day has ended.  
—  
When Seb arrives at home that day, they immediately flop on their bed and groan into their pillow. They can’t believe they completely chickened out of telling Nini— it’s not even like this stupid crush is that big of a deal! 

But _Nini_ of all people?! They could trust her! 

And yet… 

Seb groans. Maybe writing the actual song would help them a bit. 

Suddenly they were feeling much more optimistic about the situation as they removed the pillow from their face and shifted onto the floor, walking over to their keyboard, stationed in the corner of their room. This would be safe. 

_From those times that we danced, I was swept off my feet…_

Seb tries to compose a few chords, but nothing seemed to suffice. If it’s for Carlos, it has to be _perfect_. 

_Sometimes you know exactly what to say…_

Seb sighs. 

_It's just three little words, yeah, it's not a big deal…_

“Except it’s the _biggest deal_!” Seb cries, and in a fit of sudden frustration, they smash their fingers into an unsatisfying cluster of chords on his piano, then removes them, finally bringing their fists up to their eyes and rubbing. 

Nothing seems to sound good enough.

Nothing seems to sound good enough _for Carlos_ , they think, and now, suddenly, they’re feeling _super_ awful about themselves and their songwriting abilities. Crushes are awful!

This is _no_ fair. 

_I dont think this song is going to work out, gina_ , Seb messages quickly, miserably sighing to themselves. 

_gina!: what happened? are you alright? why won’t it work out?_

Seb can’t seem to find any of the right words to say, and they find their fingers have been hovering over the keyboard for a few minutes already. 

_It just won’t_

_gina!: can you send me what you’ve got so far?_

Seb takes a photo of the few lines they’ve written but desperately wanted to scrap and sends them to her.

_gina!: i think it’s so cute!!_

_It’s not going to work_

_gina!: don’t worry about it sebby! i really think it’s a good start but if you’re not feelin it, we’ll brainstorm together again. you’ll find something :)_

_< 3_

Seb throws their phone onto their bed. 

This sucks.  
—  
Finally it’s Friday today, and now hopefully Seb can finally find a bit of time over the weekend to re-evaluate this entire decision. 

That doesn’t mean lunch today will be any fun, though. 

They woke up dreary and exhausted, unlike usual, and finding the energy to get an outfit and lunch together seemed near-impossible. The ride to school seemed longer than usual, and yet Seb dreaded arriving. As much as they loved — _adored_ — every single person in their newfound friend group, they really didn’t want to try and have to keep it together for everybody today — especially not with what they had pulled yesterday — because a “bad day” two days in a row for Seb would definitely be a cause for concern. But they didn’t want to talk about it — God, no, they _really_ didn’t want to talk about it. 

First, second and third period flew by, just as Seb had expected them to — because why wouldn’t they have? They’d been dreading lunch, and just their luck… 

The lunch bell rang and Seb knew, now, they really had to get it together. 

The walk from their third period class to their locker and down to the cafeteria felt much too short. They checked their phone. 12:09 already? They seemed later than usual. January the 24th. Only 21 more days until Valentine’s Day — because they really wanted to be reminded of that day right now, anyways. Of course. 

They spotted their lunch table, and took in a deep breath. 

A happy smile for just an hour would be okay. They’ll be alright. 

They approach the table and grinn at everybody, giving everyone a small wave. “Can I sit?” 

Today, Kourtney and Ashlyn are sat next to each other, and they both quickly take the initiative to separate so Seb could sit down between them. 

Seb removes their bag from their shoulders and sets it down on the ground underneath the bench. They make sure their face shows no signs of a bad day. Nobody seems to notice, except maybe Gina, but her and Nini are already in conversation — which Seb is very thankful for. “You’re later than usual,” Ashlyn points out, unlocking her phone and checking the time. It was 12:11. 

Seb shrugs, shaking their head. “I didn’t realize.” 

“How many more days, Seb?” E.J. asks across the table, smiling at the sophomore. “Until the big day?”

Seb’s smile drops from their face momentarily, but they quickly save face and replace it with a faux-suspicious look. “I’m not really keeping track?”

E.J. shrugs, obviously having now picked up on Seb’s weird mood and deciding to let it be. Everyone at the table engages in conversation as usual, but today, Seb’s feeling perfectly content sitting back and listening to everybody else speak. They feel that everyone seems to be a bit off — probably because of them. 

They can’t help but look over at Carlos every so often, too. Just to check on him. Hopefully he’s having a better day than Seb. 

Kourtney, being the beautifully observant and caring person she is, nudges Seb near the end of the period, as if to check up on them. Seb tilts their head as if to show confusion to her, and she simply responds with, “Are you alright?” 

Her voice is low, quiet. She’s obviously trying to keep it quiet from the rest of the group. 

Seb nods, and smiles towards her. “All good!” 

Kourtney raises her eyebrows. She’s always had a way about this. 

“A bit tired.” 

It wasn’t a complete lie. 

“I’ll be alright!”

“Seb?” 

Seb looks up at her a final time. “I’ll text you later.” 

She nodded, giving them a small and an assuring pat on the shoulder, and then the lunch bell rings. 

Thank God.  
—  
Considering Seb has nothing better to do during their fourth-period Chemistry class, they have their phone out and ade trying to gain the mental preparation to message Kourtney. 

They trust her. She has the warmest aura Seb has ever felt, and he’s always looked up to her — especially after she mindlessly sang their Sharpay song better than they ever could for a soundcheck. 

(They were maybe still a _teensy_ bit jealous, but they’d never admit to it.) 

Though they were out to the friend group as certainly not, well, _straight_ — they’d never really come to a definitive conclusion as to their sexuality — not like it was really the whole groups business — but they all knew just as much as Seb did in that regard. In regards to their gender, though, Kourtney definitely knew the most out of anybody in the world, even if it was just an offhand conversation about Sharpay and the makeup she had worn that Seb was sure Kourtney’s probably already forgotten by now. 

Regardless, she knows lots about Seb — as much as lots can be, at this point. And they trust her. 

They can do this. 

_I just had a bad night last night, but I’m really okay! Was not feeling much energy today haha_

As expected, Kourtney takes a few minutes to respond — after all, she has a class, too. 

_Kourt: Are you okay with maybe elaborating a bit on that?_

Seb sighs. 

_Idk, I was sort of trying to write a bit of a song last night and I found it really difficult even though I don’t usually. I'm not really sure why it got to me as much as it did_

Except they were sure. 

_Kourt: What’s it about?_

Seb sighs again. Of course.

_Nothing really lol_

_Kourt: A person?_

Seb gets a bit suspicious. Has Gina talked to her behind their back?

_Idk_

_Yeah_

_Kourt: Who? Maybe that’s the problem?_

_Haha I have chem to pay attention to now!_

_Kourt: Youre funny Seb_

Seb rolls their eyes. 

_Kourt: You’ll feel better if you talk about it!_

_It’s for Valentine’s day_

_Kourt: Aw, Seb. For who?_

Does Seb really want to message this to her, and then there’s proof of them talking about it somewhere? Do they really want that? 

They sigh. They can trust her. 

_Uh carlos ?_

_I have chem getting in trouble gotta go bye!_

Seb composes the last message very fast, then shuts their phone off and turns it over onto their desk. They don’t really think they’re ready for Kourtney’s answer. She’ll be more relaxed than Gina, for sure, but she’s older and she’s known Carlos for ages… 

They just won’t check their phone until the end of the day, and then there won’t be any chance of seeing Kourtney’s reaction until they get home. There, they’ll have two whole days to mope and dread seeing Kourtney for choir on Monday. 

That’s still two days, though, and it’s better than nothing. 

Just…ten more minutes this class, and then an hour for Foundations. 

That’s all they have to get through.  
—  
Miraculously, Seb manages to stay off of their phone until the end of the day (which was _hard_ , because Foundations is maybe the most boring math class they’ve ever taken in their life! Their teacher really knew how to put a student to sleep. 

Once the final bell rings, Seb makes a beeline to the door and speed-walks down to their locker to leave. They don’t see any of their friends — especially Kourtney. 

It’s not even like they’re trying to avoid her, mostly because they didn’t _have_ to tell her. A gun wasn’t being held to their head; they wouldn't be hurt if they didn’t tell Kourtney about Carlos and the song. It was their own choice to make. 

They just know, deep down, that telling someone else was probably the best option for them. 

Still though, they really just want to get out of this place and home to their bed so they can check their phone and see what Kourtney said. 

Seb’s mom arrives at her usual time and they drive home together, yet Seb is still in the same sort-of-somber yet trying-to-hide-it mood they were in during the drive to school. 

They don’t like being sad. 

It… really sucks, actually. 

They just want to be happy, and to have the confidence to tell their friends about the thing that’s been bothering them. 

It kind of also sucks that they won’t be seeing Carlos for two whole days. _Two whole days_! That’s two days way, _way_ too long. Weekends always suck for this exact reason, especially now, since the show is over and they’re not dancing together anymore. Seb missed that. 

God, they really would love to dance with Carlos again someday. He has such a way about him… they feel safe with him. 

Plus, he actually knows how to dance. Super well. _Super, super well_. He’s so talented. 

The rest of the drive is spent by Seb longing for what they once had (but not at all) with Carlos, but what’s new under the sun, anyway?  
—  
As soon as Seb gets home, they run upstairs and immediately unlock their phone. They can’t believe they’ve actually managed to spend over two hours off of it, merely because they didn’t want to see a text message. 

And boy, are there text messages. 

Seb can already feel a smile growing across their face as they read Kourtney’s messages sent to them. 

_Kourt: Sebby! Really?_

_Kourt: I never really saw you as a crush-y sort of guy._

_Kourt: But that’s so cute! I’m really happy for you!_

_Kourt: I wasn’t sure if that’s what it was. You guys always seemed sort of close like that, during theatre. I wasn’t ever sure if you guys were actually together or liked each other or anything. I think he likes you, sometimes he seems to look at you like that._

_Kourt: Will you tell him? Was the song for Valentine’s Day going to be your big confession?_

Nail on the head. Of course, just like Kourt always does. 

They were all sent during fourth period, so Seb’s not even sure if she’ll be around right now. Thank God. 

_Can I just call?_

Seb sends, because they figure it’ll be easier to talk about with their voice instead of trying to text about it. Maybe they’ll feel a bit better about it, too, hopefully. Kourtney's voice is really comforting. 

…Carlos looks at him, _like that_? 

Seb hardly has time to think about what that insinuated, but it brought a tinge of colour to their cheeks regardless. Carlos looks at him _like that_ sometimes? 

It takes Kourtney a few minutes to respond, but Seb figures it’s probably because she has to drive home and get settled down from the day. Of course she sends back a resounding yes, then says she’ll call in a couple minutes. 

True to her words, Seb’s phone starts ringing momentarily, and their heart starts to race. This is ridiculous — they’ve already got the hard part out of the way! 

Seb answers the phone and turns on speakerphone, setting the device on the comforter of their bed. They don’t want to speak first. 

“Seb? Hello?” Kourtney says hesitantly through the phone. “You there?”

“Uh huh,” they say, pausing. “Hi, Kourt!” 

They’re shaking. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m okay. Are you alright?” 

Kourtney gives Seb a small laugh at their comment. “I’m good, too.” 

“That’s good!”

Kourtney pauses for a moment, and then laughs again. “So why did you need to call me?”

Seb groans. “I figured it’d be easier to talk about than to text.” 

“I think it’s cute, Sebby! I don’t know why you seem to be upset about it,” Kourtney says. “How long has it been?” 

“Last year sometime…?” 

Kourtney gives an incredulous laugh, “Really?” 

“I think so, yeah.” 

“How happy were you getting to practice dancing with him a bunch for the show?” 

Seb laughs, then groans. “Don’t even bring that up.” 

“Duly noted. Why don’t you try again on that song?” 

“Uh,” Seb says, widening their eyes despite Kourtney not being able to see. “Are you insane?” 

Kourtney pauses. “Seb, I didn’t even hear any of the song. I don’t know how good or bad it is. Are you at home? Can you play it —”

Before Kourtney even has the chance to finish her sentence, Seb cuts her off with, “Absolutely not! It’s garbage, Kourt. I’m not ever thinking about to again. I need another idea.” 

“Does anybody else know about this… issue of yours?” 

“Gina does,” they say, “She’s the only one I have classes with. I didn’t know who else to talk to, ‘cause I think nearly everyone else has classes with him, and it’s so — ugh, I don’t know, weird? I don’t like talking about people behind their backs.” 

“Not even a crush?” Kourtney says, but she emphasizes the last word, just to tease Seb. Just a bit. 

“Especially not a — it’s not a crush!” 

“Seb?” 

“It’s such a bad crush, Kourt,” they whine, then flop down onto their bed. “It’s really bad. I don’t think I look at anybody else, ever.” 

“I’m not going to say I’ve paid attention that much, so I doubt anybody else has, either, but… you seem to have got it bad, kid.” 

“I know! What do I _do_?” Seb sighs. 

“I think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself… I mean, Seb, you tried to write a _song_!” 

“I like writing songs, though. It’s not like writing a little song is really out of my skill set, you know? That’s why I thought it’d be a good idea, but then I sat down at my piano and nothing sounded good enough.” 

Kourtney coos at Seb’s words, and they groan even louder. “Stop!” 

“I think this is really cute! I’ve never heard you like this before. Usually you’re just overly happy and excited about everything. When have you ever been _nervous_ around someone? It’s new!” 

“Hardly ever, I know. Gina said the same thing. Does nobody think I’ve ever had a _crush_ before? Is it that hard to believe?” 

“I don’t think so. Everyone’s just to tied up in their own crushes and relationship drama to pay attention to other people’s love lives — especially people who don’t ever talk about it.” 

Seb rolls their eyes. “I hardly even know Carlos.” 

“You know plenty about him, and he knows plenty about you! You guys talked all the time during the show.” 

“Yeah, only because we were bound together by theatre every single day for three months. Now, we hardly talk. He talks a lot with everyone else... I just always get so nervous, and then I never talk to him.” 

Seb’s now laying on their bed with their eyes closed, trying their best to relax. This was weird — they’re never really vulnerable like this with anybody. It’s kind of nice, and kind of terrifying, too. 

Kourtney coos again. “You’ve got it really bad, Seb.” 

“Stop saying that!” 

“Okay, okay,” she says, giggling, “I’m not really sure… I’m not really good with asking people out. Why don’t you ask Nini or Ricky? They’re experts in this domain.” 

“Kourtney!” Seb quickly spits. “No!” 

“What?” She responds defensively, slightly taken aback. 

“Why on earth would I ever go to _Nini_ or _Ricky_ about this? They’re both _painfully_ straight, and — and there’s no way they’d actually listen to me without either making it _very_ known that I should just go for it or… or laughing in my face. No way.” 

Kourtney takes a moment, pondering how to answer Seb’s assumptions. “You don’t really think that, do you?” 

“I love everybody, Kourt! I do! I trust everybody, of course, but… I don’t know. It’s harder when a boy — er, you know… when _someone’s_ in this situation. Plus, I’m not really close with either of them. I have _casual_ friendships with them. You don’t really talk about these kinds of things with casual friends.” 

“Why not?” 

“I…” Seb starts, but can’t seem to find a way to finish that thought. They… really didn’t know _why_. They’re not used to it? They don’t like to be vulnerable? They don’t really trust their friends as much as they thought they did? 

All of those answers sounded awful to them, and suddenly their stomach was starting to form knots. They really hoped all of their friendships weren’t just shallow and casual just because they didn’t talk about _emotional stuff_ like this. 

They’ve only been a part of this big friend group since the beginning of musical season this year, which was only… five months, six months tops? 

“I don’t know.” 

“I think you do, Seb. I mean — we're all here for you. Not just me, or Gina, because we’re the easiest to talk to, but _all_ of us. Even Nini and Ricky. Even E.J.! You can trust all of us. We’re your friends. We’re all here for each other. Did you not learn from _High School Musical_ , Seb? We’re all in this together. It’s cheesy, but true.” 

“I know.”

“Then try talking like this to Nini or Ricky or somebody outside of your comfort zone! We’re all more than willing to listen to you if you need help. I promise it’ll be good for you.” 

Seb sighed. This was hard.

“Seb? Nobody’s going to laugh at you. Especially not for… just _having feelings_. Call Nini. She’s an angel.” 

“Okay,” they said. “Uh, I’m getting a bit hungry. I’m gonna go, if that’s alright?”

“Sure, Sebby. Have a good weekend. Let me know how everything goes on Monday, alright?”

“‘Course, Kourtney! Have a good weekend, too!” 

They hung up the phone.

Yeah, they definitely weren’t going to call Nini.  
—  
By the time 6:00 rolled around on Monday morning, Seb was actually feeling a lot better, which they were very grateful for. They were a bit sick and tired of being in a bad mood, so to wake up feeling good and even a bit excited to get to school to have choir was already a big positive for them. 

The drive was quick, as always, and before they knew it, they were at school, making their way to the auditorium. 7:17 — on time is late, after all. 

As they enter the auditorium, they see only Nini, Ricky and Big Red so far, and their stomach drops a bit.

They’ve half-forgotten… half-ignored Kourtney's request for them to call Nini and talk to her over the weekend…? 

Damn it. 

“Seb!” Nini calls out, waving them over. Both boys look up and wave to them as well. 

Quickly Seb approached and gave Nini a high five as her hand was still in the air. “How are you doing? How was everyone’s weekend?” They ask, removing their bag and unzipping their jacket, taking a seat on the ground in front of the small group. They like being able to see everyone instead of sitting in a long line. It feels… nicer. 

“Good! My moms took us out to dinner on Friday, and we had a stay-home-and-do-absolutely-nothing day on Saturday. What about you? You seemed a bit M.I.A in the chat.” Nini says, though she doesn’t seem suspicious. They hope Kourtney hadn’t said anything. 

Were they M.I.A? They hadn’t been trying to be. 

“Nothing special. It’s cold out so the animals and stuff need to be tended to a bit more carefully. I don’t really have a lot of time to myself when it’s wintertime.” Seb shrugs, giving them all a reassuring smile. Nini only nods, seemingly satisfied with their answer. “What about you guys?” 

Ricky starts with a rundown of his weekend but by now, E.J. and Ashlyn have also joined the group with Carlos and Kourtney closely following them behind, also joining them on the bleachers. 

Seb’s eyes, of course, follow Carlos the whole way. 

They can’t help but look away as soon as Carlos notices them staring. 

They also make sure not to look at Kourtney. They feel a bit guilty for not talking to Nini like she had suggested. 

God, this was turning into _such a huge thing_ , way beyond Valentine’s Day, even. All they wanted to do was ask Carlos out. Was that so much to ask? 

Kourtney sits down next to Seb, nudging her shoulder into theirs as soon as she sits. 

Seb only ends up shaking their head, and Kourtney gasps a bit. 

“I’m sorry!” 

Kourtney gives a small sigh. “Don’t apologize. I mean… if you’re not comfortable, you’re not comfortable. I just figured it would’ve been good for you.”

“What would be good for him?” Nini asks, turning her attention down to the two of them. 

“Nothing!” Seb widens their eyes, shaking their head rapidly. “Nothing is good for me! I mean — there — there are things _good_ for me, obviously, but it’s — it’s nothing that’s important —” 

Carlos can’t help but let out a small laugh at Seb’s conversation (that he certainly hasn’t been paying attention to at all). Seb’s really adorable, okay? And him trying to cover whatever that was up — 

Carlos, honestly, just wants to kiss him until he can’t anymore. He's really… so cute. And they’d be kind of perfect together. Like, couple _goals_. Carlos can tell.

Seb looks up at Carlos after he laughed, and they give him a small smile back. Of course neither of them knew it, but the exchange made butterflies erupt in each of their stomachs. 

_“It’s 7:34, everybody, why aren’t we rehearsing already?”_  
—  
Seb’s not sure how or why they forgot their binder in the auditorium this morning, but _somehow_ they managed to. Of course. 

Seb, the ever-organised and professional actor — no… actress — _no_... acting… _person_? 

Sure. 

So now, of course, they had to take time out of their lunch hour to go and try and find it. In the empty auditorium. 

Great. 

They grabbed their books from their locker and made their way through the East High halls down to the auditorium, expecting to simply walk in, make their way down to the bleachers where they’re almost certain they’d left it, then grab it and go to lunch. 

Except when did anything ever go as expected for Seb? 

There was someone sitting at the piano, plunking out notes from a piece of sheet music in front of him. As Seb stepped closer, they realized it was…

God — _no_. 

Just their luck! 

“Carlos?” 

Quickly the guy turned around, and, as expected, it was Carlos. He quickly waved at Seb, motioning for them to come closer. 

“What are you doing here? It’s lunch,” they said, jogging to the bleachers and immediately spotting their binder, grabbing it and then making their way over to Carlos at the piano in the centre of the room. “You’re usually at the table by now.” 

“I was just about to go, actually. I have a spare during third so I usually come in here and play around or whatever. Why are you here?” 

“Forgot my music this morning. Don’t really want Miss Jenn killing me for forgetting my scores next practice.” 

Carlos barks out a laugh. “Amen, brother. She’s scary when she’s upset.” He nods, and then reaches down to pick up his bag. 

“I — uh… what — what are you playing?” Seb asks, looking at Carlos quickly. They set their newly-found binder on top of the piano and set their backpack down on the ground, gesturing to the music in front of Carlos. 

“Oh, this? It’s nothing special. Tried writing for once, instead of choreographing, but it’s _really_ hard. I’m not sure how you nerds do it.” 

Seb gives Carlos a little grin. “Can I see?” 

Carlos seems to short circuit as Seb looks down at him, smiling that _damn_ smile. He, instinctually, moves to the side to make room for Seb to sit down next to him. 

Seb obliges, and then picks up the sheet of handwritten music. 

Quickly, Seb starts to play it, and Carlos notices how suddenly his palms are a bit sweaty, and he’s never really felt so self-conscious about something he’s made before. 

Once Seb finishes, they rest their hands on the keys. “I think it’s actually really pretty, and you have a better ear than you think! Can I suggest a couple things, maybe?”

“Of — of course, yeah,” Carlos says quickly, nodding up at Seb. “Go for it.” 

“What about something like…” Seb starts, and then plays a bit more of a decorated version of Carlos’s few beginning chords. Carlos can’t even handle it — he’s in love with this kid, he thinks. This beautifully talented boy. How could he _not_ be? 

“Like it?” Seb finishes and turns over to look at Carlos for approval. 

“I… I really love it. How are you able to do that so easily?” Carlos wonders, still awe-shocked that they managed to come up with something so _beautiful_ on the spot like that. 

“Years of training, I guess. Your writing is really beautiful, even if it’s more on the simple side. You’ve not written much, right? I think it’s really good given your experience.” 

“Thank you, Seb,” Carlos laughs quietly, and then looks down at the keys. 

“Let me show you something,” Seb says, before they’re able to chicken out of it. “Give me your hands. I’ll show you a trick.” 

Seb’s not really even sure _what_ it is that they’re showing Carlos, but honestly, they just wanted an excuse to hold Carlos’s hands in a really cute way like the movies always show, and the opportunity basically just _landed in their lap_. They’re already here together like they’re in a romance film… how could Seb have passed it up? 

Everything Seb was saying went in one ear and out the other for Carlos as his hands were going a bit numb. He wasn’t sure why he’d never felt quite like this when they were dancing together, but holy _hell_... 

“Cool?” Seb says, but it’s noticeably quieter than they had been previously speaking, as if there was a sleeping baby right next to them. “Just… something to think about.” 

“I —” Carlos stumbles out, but genuinely can’t seem to find the right words to say back to Seb. “Yeah.”

And then, somehow they’re looking right at each other, flickering between each other’s eyes and just a bit lower, and the room is completely silent aside from their breathing, and something has fallen over the two of them. Something indescribable… 

But almost as soon as the moment had started, it was abruptly (and rudely, may they both add!) cut short by a janitor entering the auditorium, letting the boys know they needed to clean. 

The two students jumped away from each other and they both quickly started to gather their books and bags to make their way down to the lunch table in the cafeteria that they were _severely_ late to arrive to. 

Both of them walked side by side in silence as they made their way to the table with the rest of their friends, and they both acted as if that moment had never happened, as if it hadn’t come with them after they left the auditorium. 

It broke their hearts.  
—  
Third time's a charm, Seb thinks as they sit in second period on Tuesday (already January 28th!), contemplating whether to message Nini or not. 

Not like the other two times went badly, though. 

They’re so nervous this time. Worse than Kourtney, even. Why does it seem to get harder every time they try to tell somebody? Coming out to everyone they cared about at school all at once was definitely the way to go, they figure, because they aren’t really sure how they could’ve handled _eight_ different coming out situations. 

Regardless — the catastrophe with Carlos yesterday in the auditorium needed to get out of them, and soon, before they absolutely _exploded_. 

_I know we don’t really talk much outside of the group and stuff but I really really need to talk to someone_

There. Done, sent and and over with. 

Until she responded, of course. 

_Nini: are you okay?? what happened? are you hurt??_

_I’m alright! Something just happened yesterday and I really need to talk about it with somebody_

_Nini: what happened?_

It's now or never, they supposed… 

_So basically I kind of really like Carlos a lot a lot and I have since last year and so I told Gina and she suggested I write a song for him for Valentine’s but that ended up epically failing so I told Kourtney and she told me I should talk to you because apparently you’re really good at helping with this kind of thing?_

_Don’t ask cause I’m not really sure but anyways_

_Yesterday we were both late to lunch together because I forgot my binder in the auditorium and he has a spare during third so he I guess he spends most of his third spares there, and he was playing on the piano so I went up to him and I was, like, “what are you playing?”_

_And so he showed me and it was a piece he’d written himself and it was really really good!! But I showed him how it could be even better you know? So I played a bit and he complimented me a lot and then I showed him an easier way to play and stuff and._

_I mean, I’ve never had any sort of thing like this happen to me before so I’m not really sure what exactly it was but I think we kinda had a thing happen? Like a Thing, you know?? But then a janitor came in and made us leave and then it was kind of awkward._

_I don’t know what to do, please help me Nini_

Seb’s grateful they have a substitute for a work period and that they sit in the very back of the classroom, because they just composed an absolute _novel_ to send to Nini, and if anyone would’ve seen them, they would’ve been confused, for sure. 

Unsurprisingly, it takes Nini a few minutes to respond — she’s in class and Seb had sent a hell of a lot of text, after all — but she does soon enough. 

_Nini: uh ok wow seb i did not need a novel_

_Sorry_

_I have a work period_

_Nini: don’t apologize! this has been the most exciting thing i’ve read in a while_

_Nini: i’m guessing you haven’t talked to him since?_

_No, ma’am_

_Nini: i’m not going to say you definitely should or anything, but you probably should talk to him because lunch is gonna be really awkward if you guys aren’t talking and everyone’s gonna be confused_

_I know :(_

_Nini: i’m glad you talked to me! is this what’s been bothering you lately?_

Seb stopped suddenly. Nini had picked up on it? Does that mean others did, too?

_What do you mean?_

_Nini: you’re the happiest person i’ve ever met seb! the past week or so you haven’t really seemed to be very happy_

_I guess_

_Nini: if it means bringing back happy seb, i’ll do anything you need if you need help! i’m here for you :))_

That… really seemed to be the resounding, all-encompassing lesson that Seb’s been hearing since last week. They were here for them. 

_Thank you._

_How do I tell him?_

_Kourtney told me to ask you (or ricky) because you’re apparently good at this kind of thing_

_Nini: ricky lol? why ricky?_

_I don’t know_

_But I wasn’t about to go and talk to him out of the two of you lol_

_Nini: i love him but i don’t blame you sebby_

_Nini: just be casual about it, though! maybe give the whole auditorium situation a few days to cool off, but i’d just try and him during a quiet time where you guys can be alone and talk to him_

_That’s really awkward though_

_Nini: the best way to do it is face to face_

_Nini: plus, it’ll be best to get an understanding of what happened from him_

_Nini: if you ask him out, the worst thing he can say is no, and its not like carlos is the kind of person to hold this against someone, especially you of all people! you guys have a really good friendship from what i can see_

_Nini: and if you do, he could very well say yes, too! i think there’s a possibility of him liking you ;)_

_Nini: so it might be a bit awkward at first but you might get a boyfriend out of it! why not try? you’ve never been somebody to not do something because you’re scared of it, seb._

God, Nini was so right. Why hadn’t they gone to her in the first place? 

_I should’ve come to you first_

_You’re so wise!_

_Thank you Nini_

_Nini: no problem seb! let me know how it goes!_

_I will_

_You’re kind of the best_

_Nini: <3_  
—  
Throughout the week, Seb keeps meaning to do it — _they do_ , really. But it’s always been the wrong time, or they haven’t been able to find Carlos, or they’ve been together but, of course, with another person or more. And it’s been _kind of_ awkward… 

Like, Seb _knows_ sometimes they catch Carlos looking at them at lunch with this sort of dazed look in his eyes, and Seb just wants to _tell him_. Sometimes they notice how Carlos will lean into them during choir when they’re standing next to each other, or their shoulders will brush together when they’re walking down the hallway — because somehow they always end up walking right next to each other — with everyone, or they’ll accidentally bump hands and then they’ll quickly jump away from each other, 

And it’s the most frustrating back-and-forth- _thing_ in the world. Seb’s never felt so many butterflies in the span of a week before. 

But at the end of the day, they can’t help it. Even if they had that moment on Monday, that still doesn’t really… _mean_ anything, right? And all of the awkward bumps and looks, they don’t have to mean anything. Seb could easily just be making a really big deal out of everything. 

And so now, by Friday, it’s already the 31st which means Valentine’s Day is in just two weeks. 

Ten more school days on Monday. 

Damn it. They’re really running out of time.  


—  


“It’s only 7:10,” Seb comments as their mom pulls up outside of the school. “Choir’s not for twenty minutes, still. We’re never so early?” 

“I’ve got to get going quickly to work this morning, and maybe next week as well. I’ll let you know. I love you!” 

“I — okay. Love you too. See you after school.” 

“Ditto, sweetheart!” 

Seb’s… feeling alright, they suppose. Considering Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and they have this big _thing_ going on with Carlos that’s totally been bringing down their spirits lately, they’re feeling about as good as someone would expect them to. 

As they walk into the school, twenty minutes early, they really don’t expect many students to have arrived yet, but yet… 

The auditorium is nearly empty. 

Seb walks in slowly, a bit nervous because they’re generally never this early, but they soon spot a familiar frame sitting at the piano, and they suddenly stop in their tracks to pray to God that they could just quietly run out and hope that he hadn’t heard them walk in. 

Carlos turns around at the noise, and then freezes, himself. “Uh — hey, Seb!” He calls out, and Seb knows, now, that they have to go and talk to him. Damnit. 

“Hey, Carlos,” they call across the auditorium and slowly approach the bleachers, removing their bag and jacket. “What — what are you working on?” 

“That — that song, still,” Carlos says, but he seems hesitant. Seb can’t really place a finger on it. 

Seb approaches the piano slowly. “How’s it… coming along?” 

“Good, good,” Carlos says, and then an awkward sort of silence falls upon them. Seb’s now standing next to the piano bench amd Carlos instinctively scoots over to make room for his friend. Seb tentatively sits down. 

“It sounded good,” they say, because they’re not sure what else to say at this point. Whatever happened to their beautiful chemistry together during the musical rehearsals? Seb missed it — by God did they miss it. 

Carlos awkwardly nods and gives Seb a half-smile, gesturing to the music. “So I’m not really sure where to go from here…” 

Seb’s not sure if he means the music or their situation. 

In complete honesty, either of them would make sense — and at least one of them, Seb was in complete agreeance on, too. 

“Want a bit of help…?” 

“I — yeah, sure,” Carlos says, giving a small shrug. Seb reads the sheet over and nods along to it as they progress, humming quietly to themselves. 

“I think it sounds good,” Seb hands the sheet back to Carlos, but their voice seems to die off at the end. “Really good. You’ve — you’ve gotten really good.”

“Thanks,” says Carlos, but Seb knows he feels awkward because Seb’s not sure what else to do besides compliment him as much as they can. “I…”

Carlos isn’t sure where he wanted to go with that. 

The tension between the two of them could be cut with a knife, and it makes Seb’s heart ache. How could this happen to them? This was so painfully _awkward_ , because Seb’s certainly not going to try and make a move on him _now_. They used to be so good together. This was just… it wasn’t _them_. They used to be Seb and Carlos — not…

Whatever this is. 

“I kind of just wanted to say, um,” Carlos starts, taking a bit of a breath, and Seb can tell he’s shaking. “I wanted to say, uh — that —” 

“Oh, hey, guys!” 

Carlos and Seb have never hated E.J. Caswell more in their lives.  
—  
To Seb, the rest of the week was blurry, uncomfortable and awkward. Especially around Carlos.

And everyone, by this point, has picked up on it. Without Seb’s positivity shining throughout every conversation at the lunch table, the entire dynamic seemed off. Everyone seemed a bit more dreary. The conversations seemed to feel more strained, and everyone seemed to have Seb and Carlos on their minds. Neither of them were acting themselves anymore. 

The rest of the group could only _pray_ that this all resolved itself by Valentine’s Day — for their sake.  
—  
“Mom — I’m not even sure the school is open at seven in the morning,” Seb complains to their mom, groaning as they pull up outside the school just past seven o’clock on Monday morning. “Honestly.”

“Seb, it’s open. There’s plenty of teachers here now. Next week, hopefully, I won’t have to be so early,” she sympathises, then points to the school. “I need to get going, sweetheart. Have a good day!”

Seb groans again, opening the car door, immediately shivering at the cold outside. They hated winter. “Yeah, yeah, you too. Love you.”

“Love you too, Seb!”

As soon as she pulls away, Seb bolts from the car to the doors of the school because the temperature had dropped tremendously since Friday, and, yeah, sure, they lived in Utah — but that doesn’t mean they like to tolerate the cold. 

Seb opens the door — thank God it was unlocked — and pauses on the mat, wiping their shoes off to free the floor from any snowy residue. Soon enough, Seb makes their way to the auditorium — they’re praying that Carlos isn’t here today, because they’re not sure where they’ll go to avoid another repeat of the last few times they’ve been in the auditorium together.

As Seb walks up to the door, they realize that the laughing they hear is coming from someone who is much, _much_ worse. 

There’s a bit of a pause that Seb takes when they see who it is today. It’s Carlos — of course — and…

Another guy? 

Seb can’t really tell who it is — though they're not sure they’d even recognize him if he wasn’t in the musical — but he’s got dark hair with a hat on and he’s sitting right next to Carlos on the piano bench where Seb usually sits. 

Is he serious? 

And…and they’re playing the song.

_The song._

Carlos’s song! The one Seb had been helping him with! 

Seb nearly feels their heart break as the immediately feel tears well up in their eyes. How could Carlos do this? So, so obviously flirt with Seb for _weeks_ and then sit and play a song that Seb has been helping with with some… some _other guy_? 

What has Seb done to him to deserve this? 

Sure, they’ve been a bit awkward and out of sync lately, but… 

They’re laughing together. Carlos seems to be having fun, and so does this other guy, apparently. He can see curls poking out from beneath the guys hat, and he suddenly hates curly hair. Seb can’t recognize his voice, but he’s playing the piece and he’s… _good_. He can hear them both muttering words — maybe lyrics? — back and forth to each other as the boy plays. Does Carlos think that Seb isn’t good enough to help with his piece anymore? 

Does Carlos not like Seb’s voice? 

Since when did Seb even care so much about this stupid song? 

“Oh, shit,” Seb hears from Carlos as they distantly see him pick up his phone. “It’s quarter after. Kids will be coming soon. We’ve gotta go,” he utters out quickly, and the other boy nods in agreement.

Both of them stand up, and they embrace one another as soon as they do.

“Thank you again for this, dude, it means a lot to me,” Seb hears Carlos say as he pulls away from the other guy. “I obviously can’t really work on it with Seb anymore now, and you’re a great musician. I really appreciate it.”

Seb thinks they feel bile rise in their throat, and they run out of the doors before they can hear the other kid’s answer. 

How could Carlos say that? 

What had Seb done to elicit this whole situation, and Carlos’s comment about how he _couldn’t work with Seb anymore_? 

Seb runs to the bathroom — thank God it was only one stall — and locks the door behind them.

They cry and cry until they’ve realized that it’s now seven twenty eight, and choir is supposed to be starting in two minutes. Shit.

They wipe down their face as best they can and try their best to get rid of the redness in their eyes, but ultimately, they only have a minute until they need to be in choir and they really don’t want to be marked late. 

They’ll just have to blame it on the cold outside, they supposed. 

God, they’ll never be able to look Carlos in the face again. 

Except… he stands right next to Seb in choir, and all of their friends were together in the bleachers, waiting for class to start. 

Seb walks into the auditorium for the second time this morning, unzipping their coat and removing the straps of their backpack. They sit down silently next to E.J., on the very end. He’s really, _really_ not in the mood to see anybody anymore. 

Carlos seems to be having a great morning, too, which makes it all the worse. They can't even look at him right now. 

“Dude, are you okay?” Seb suddenly hears E.J. ask from right next to them, and they turn around at the sound. 

“What?” Their voice sounds awful. It’s painfully obvious that they had been crying. 

“Are you okay?” E.J. asks again, more concerned this time. He’s completely cut off conversation with the rest of the group, and his attention is fully on Seb. Just what they need right now. 

“I’m fine,” Seb mutters, but they can’t look up from the ground. 

E.J. chews on his lip. Clearly he’s not fine — _clearly_ — but Seb’s never really been one to talk about his emotions before, especially in a setting like this. 

“If you want to talk about it —” 

“E.J., I said I’m fine!” 

Most of the rest of the group is now quiet, save for Carlos and Ashlyn talking together on the other side of the group, paying no mind to the situation. 

Nini chews on her lip, too. What had happened? Did Seb tell Carlos? Did he take it terribly? She feels a drop in her stomach.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” E.J. says, giving one last glance to Seb beside him. Seb didn’t storm away, which was good, but he really… really seems off. 

“7:33, let’s go, people!”

Seb stands silently with his music clutched against his chest, and they make their way over to his section silently. They don’t look anybody in the eyes — especially not the one right next to him.  
—  
Seb feels horrible. Not only for the disaster of this morning, but for freaking out on E.J. and then ignoring everybody else the rest of the class. They’ve been acting terribly, and they know it.

And they want to apologize, they _do_ , but that means explaining what happened with Carlos this morning and they just couldn’t handle doing that. 

And so… they don’t show up to lunch that day. Which, in hindsight, is probably them digging themselves into an even deeper hole, but… 

They can’t help it.

E.J. and Nini are both messaging them, asking where they are and if they’re alright, as they sit in the library, and the group chat is probably filled with questions about where they are. They can’t seem to pick up their phone and answer anybody. 

During fourth period with Gina, even she asks what’s going on with them, but they say they don’t want to talk about it and that they’re sorry for not going to lunch, but that that’s all they can say about the situation. 

Of course she asks if it’s about Carlos, and all Seb does is shake their head. 

She asks if someone did something — a bully, they know she’s implying, because they know she knows they’ve been bullied before — that had hurt them. They shake their head. 

She asks if one of their friends had done something to them, and they shake their head.

Gina gives up, stumped, because she knows she won’t get it out of him. She leaves the one-sided conversation with a half-hearted, “Please know that we’re here for you if you need someone to talk to, okay?” 

And all Seb does is nod their head, and leaves Gina to finish whatever it is she’s working on in her notebook. 

Hey, wasn't that the same one Ashlyn had at lunch the other day? 

Whatever. Seb couldn’t find the energy in their mind to care right now.  
—  
Seb’s never been happier to hear the final bell to indicate the end of the day before. It felt like what they imagine Heaven feeling like. 

It was an amazing feeling. 

As they make their attempt to bolt out of the school, E.J. and Nini — so coincidentally, E.J. and Nini! — are walking the opposite direction, but both quickly notice them and switch their sides, each now walking next to Seb. 

“Seb,” Nini starts, voice tentative. E.J. looks at her with concern. Sure, Seb and E.J. aren’t the _closest_ of friends, but E.J. cares about all of his friends and how they’re feeling never mind their relationship with one another, and with what happened this morning… 

He just wants to be there for Seb, he supposes. He really felt for the kid. 

“What, Nini?” Seb says. Their voice is cold.

“Seb, I’m scared for you! You’ve never acted like this before, and you didn’t show up to lunch at all, and Gina says you were weird in your classes…”

“Why are you talking to Gina about me behind my back?” 

E.J. and Nini make eye contact across Seb. God… 

“Because we’re worried about you, Seb!” Nini starts, and by now, they’ve arrived at the front door, and Seb sees their mom’s car parked outside like it is every day, and they try to turn around to explain how they have to leave. 

“My mom’s here,” they say quickly, but E.J.’s already thinking on his feet. 

“Tell your mom you’re going for coffee with us. We can all sit in my car or something. I’ll drive you home so she doesn’t have to worry about you, okay?” 

And Seb furrows their eyebrows, because they know their mom will be _fine_ with Seb going and hanging out with a couple people on a Monday afternoon, especially if it means getting a ride home. 

Still, they fiddle with their fingers…

“Fine.” Seb says sharply, and then turns back around to go outside and talk to their mom. Nini and E.J. follow far behind them, and Seb assumes they’re probably talking about them right now, too. 

Their mom graciously agrees and tells Seb to tell E.J. thank you from her. Seb agrees.

As they turn around, they see their mom pull away, then they see their two friends approaching them. “Good to go?”

Seb just nods. Once they meet together, they make their way towards the parking lot. 

“Don’t mind if my car is a bit messy please, I really don’t clean it all that often.” E.J. says, trying his best to lighten the mood and make a joke, as they finally arrive at his car. He unlocks it and all three of them get in. 

E.J. doesn’t start the car, but instead turns to Nini, sitting beside him in the front seat. 

Nini takes initiative. “So?”

Seb can’t run away anymore. At school all day today — and really, the past couple of weeks — they’ve been running from not only themselves but from their friends, too. And Carlos. 

Now, they can’t run anymore. Metaphorically nor physically. They can’t avoid it. 

So they spill.

“I got to school really early today,” Seb says, sighing as they remove the mittens from their hands. “And I went to go to the auditorium and I wasn’t expecting to see anybody there because it wasn’t even ten after, but I heard Carlos and, like, some random guy who I couldn’t really see ‘cause he was wearing a hat was and stuff playing on the piano, and I was really confused because nobody’s _ever_ at school so early, but they were? And, uh, I don’t know. It was a song he had been composing and I had been helping him with it a couple times, but it wasn’t really anything big, I guess. And they… sort of stood up, and hugged each other, and Carlos had said something about, like, _thanks for helping me with this because I can’t get Seb’s help anymore_ , and I… I don’t know what I did to him, because I didn’t think I’d ever done anything wrong to him and he never said anything to me, so why can’t he have my help anymore?” 

E.J. and Nini stared at each other, both wide eyed. This could _not_ be happening. 

“The guy was good though, and they seemed to be having fun. I guess it makes sense.” 

E.J. looks from Nini to Seb, and then back to Nini. “Is there… any context to this story?”

“He likes Carlos,” says Nini quietly, and then E.J. widens his eyes, a bit comically. Seb doesn’t catch it. 

“Oh,” is all E.J. can say. “ _Oh_.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m, um… I’m sorry for getting upset at you this morning. I didn’t mean to. You hadn’t done anything to me.”

E.J. gives Seb a smile even if they don’t look up to see it. “I understand. All is forgiven, dude.” 

“You didn’t come to lunch because you didn’t want to see Carlos, then?” Is all Nini says, looking at Seb. 

Seb shrugs, “And I didn’t really want to see E.J. either ‘cause I felt bad.” 

“Well, you’ve apologized and I’ve forgiven you, and it wasn’t even that bad of an interaction, was it?” E.J. jokes. 

“Yeah,” says Seb softly, finally looking up at the both of them. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Seb,” Nini says, shaking her head. “This is all new to you. It’s okay! It sucks to like somebody. I should know — I liked _E.J._. Ew.” 

All three of them erupt into giggles.

Once the laughter has finally died down, E.J. can’t help but ask, “So you were going to ask him out for Valentine’s Day?” 

“I was going to try to,” Seb says, groaning quietly. “I hate this, though. Valentine’s Day sucks. I just want it to be over with already.” 

“Seb, you’re the only one who was really excited for Valentine’s Day as far in advance as you were, and you’re one of the only ones who’s still single in our group? Like you said yourself, it’s not just all about being with a partner, right? It’s about your friends and family, too. I think you should listen to yourself talk sometimes, take your own advice.” Says E.J., but Seb only groans louder.

“That was before I turned this whole thing into an awful mess. Now, I think Valentine’s Day is terrible and I hate the color red.” 

“I’ve never heard something so negative come out of your mouth before.” 

Seb only laughs. “I’m hanging around everybody too much.” 

“We can tell,” Nini supplies. “I don’t think you really mean that, though. Deep down, do you hate Valentine’s Day, or are you just upset with an unfortunate situation that’s happening near Valentine’s Day?”

“Nini’s so wise. It’s not fair.” 

“Agreed, dude.”

Seb pauses, and thinks for a moment. “What do you mean, nearly nobody is single in the group? Who’s…”

“Me and Ricky have been together since the end of the show,” Nini says, “But everyone knows that. E.J. and Gina are dating — poor Gina —“

“Nini, you dated me, too, not that long ago!” 

“— and everyone thinks Ashlyn and Red are together, too.”

“I didn’t know Gina and — why’d nobody tell me?” Seb’s eyes are comically wide, and even though the words they said were mock-offended, there’s an obvious, bright smile spreading across their face. 

This is the Seb everyone missed so dearly. They were still deep down inside somewhere.

Everyone was starting to miss it. 

Thank God it’s still there somewhere. 

Now all E.J. and Nini ended was for Valentine’s Day to do its magic, and hopefully…

Hopefully Seb would be alright again.  
—  
The next two days got easier thanks to Nini and E.J. being by Seb’s side whenever they could be and Gina keeping them in conversation whenever possible during classes, both of which people they really appreciated. Seb’s finally starting to learn that their friends genuinely _are_ there for them whenever they need. 

Late on Thursday night, Seb got a message from Nini. They had been moaning and grumbling the entire night in their bedroom because they didn’t want to go to school tomorrow, and they were trying to figure out how they were going to survive it. The message from her came in just past nine o’clock, asking them if they could come to school early to help Nini surprise Ricky for Valentine’s Day. 

Of course, since Seb loved love (despite their recent love-related issues) and their friends, they agreed immediately. They wouldn’t be so selfish as to turn down Nini and Ricky and let them have a bad Valentine’s Day just because Seb was going to. 

Seb messaged their mom asking if it was alright (after they had confirmed it with Nini, but it’s fine!), and she answered with a thumbs up. They were good to go.  
—  
_What time do you need me inside?_

 _Nini: 7:45 in the main practice room?_

_Okay_  
—  
True to their words, Seb had arrived at 7:43 and made their way inside the school in search of the practice room or Nini — whichever they found first. 

It happened to be the practice room, which was just a few room away from the auditorium. Knocking on the door, they then opened it and stepped inside, expecting to see Nini and maybe a hundred helium balloons, because Nini would totally do that, wouldn't she? 

Instead, they stop dead in their tracks as they see Carlos, sitting in front of the small piano. Carlos turns around as soon as he hears the door open and stands up to see Seb. 

“Where’s Nini?” Seb asks immediately. They don’t want to be here without Nini. Where was she?

“Not here,” Carlos said, giving a timid smile to Seb. “She’s not coming, it… was more for her to get you to come here, because I don’t think you’d have listened if it was me.” 

“What’s this about…?” Seb asks nervously. Their heart is racing — out of both nerves and maybe a bit of sadness, too. Why does Carlos want them here after what he said about them on Monday? 

Carlos reaches his hand out to Seb as if to guide him further into the room. “I sort of want to apologize and talk to you, if that’s okay?”

Seb whips their head up at Carlos with a deer-in-the-headlights sort of expression on their face. “What do you mean?” 

“Sit down?” Carlos suggests, and Seb slowly pulls up a chair near the piano bench. Carlos sits down, too, and instead of turning to Seb, turns to the piano. “So I have a bit of a confession. The song that we had been working on together, uh, was originally a little melody I wrote for Valentine’s Day — for, uh, for _you_ , so I’ll… play it and then talk.” 

Seb looks between Carlos and the piano as they set their bag down on the floor, unzipping their jacket slowly. 

Carlos starts to play. Seb recognizes the melody. 

And then Carlos starts to sing a few moments later, and… Seb doesn’t really know what to say. 

_Sometimes you know exactly what to say,  
Then you open your mouth and the words go away.  
Don't want you to wonder or to doubt or guess,  
So let me tell you clearly what I'm tryna express.  
It's just three little words, yeah, it's not a big deal,  
It's not like I can help feelin' all that I feel.  
And by now, I'm sure you're thinking it's so obvious,  
But just in case it's not, what I'm sayin' is this, what I'm sayin' is this,_

_I can't help dreamin' of you,  
I guess I'm sayin' I don't not like you,  
From the minute we met, and my heart skipped a beat,  
To the night we first danced, I was swept off my feet, _

_I think I kinda, you know,  
I think I kinda, you know,  
Like the way that we flow,  
Like the way that we go,  
And I love  
I think I kinda, you know…_

Now they _really_ don’t know what to say, especially because there’s tears falling from their eyes and they really, really just want to kiss Carlos and not talk at all. 

“It — it was a collaborative — _oh_ ,” starts Carlos as he finishes playing the final chords, but is ultimately cut off by Seb standing and wrapping their arms around his body. Carlos immediately leans into the embrace, and he can already hear they’re crying. 

“Seb,” Carlos says softly, turning up so he can see their face. “Seb, please don’t cry! It’s okay!” 

“I — I don’t think you really understand how sweet of a thing this is for me,” Seb mumbles eventually into Carlos’s shoulder as they sit together, still embraced. “I don't think I'll ever get over this. Or you. I can’t believe —” 

“You don’t have to, Seb,” Carlos says, then gives a small, wet laugh. “You’re making me cry, too.” 

“Good.” 

A few moments pass, and the two of them seem to make no effort to move despite having finally separated from their embrace. 

“It was a collaborative effort between basically everybody. Gina talked to me and told me to use a couple lines in a song for you that you’d written, so we got those, and then Gina and Ashlyn helped me with writing the rest of the lyrics. Ricky and E.J. helped a lot with the melody and singing and composition. Nini and Kourtney sort of helped put everything together and make it good and all that. I… would just like to say that. It wasn’t only me,” finished Carlos, and suddenly everything sort of starts to make sense. The notebooks, the melodies, the song Carlos was constantly practicing…

It was all for _them_?

“And I — I want to apologize, too. Uh, so the guy you saw me with on Monday was Ricky, because we were trying to do some touch ups before choir and I hadn’t realized you'd arrive early again. I just wanted it as good as it could be for you. It wasn’t… anything other than that. I said that I couldn’t use your help anymore because it was _for_ you, not because of something you’d done. And I’d also like to apologize for how weird I’ve been the past couple weeks around you, especially that day in the auditorium, which kind of just caught me off guard. I’ve been… stressed and nervous about Valentine’s Day and what you’d say, I guess. Is everything cleared up now?” 

Seb only shuts their eyes, and basks in this moment. This is genuinely unbelievable. How could this have been going on behind their back for so long? This is… 

“I love you,” Seb finally whispers, and opens their eyes. They love him. Properly. 

All Carlos does is smile to himself, and raise his arms to wrap around Seb’s neck and pull them closer, to ask, “Can I kiss you?”

Seb does it first, though. 

And it’s kind of astoundingly magical.  
—  
Seb hasn’t sat still nor paid attention to any of their class work today, but they figure that’s probably fair. They’ll _never_ be able to get over what happened this morning, and what with it still being so fresh in their mind…

Basically, lunchtime couldn’t have arrived any slower. 

After third period, Seb practically bolts to the cafeteria so they can see Carlos again, and then see everyone who had made this morning so magical for them. 

Their class is two floors above the cafeteria, though, and it seems that everybody else had the same idea that they did, because they’re the last one to arrive, as per usual. And everyone’s smiling. 

“Seb!” Nini calls out as soon as they enter the room. With that, the rest of the table turns their way, and their face immediately flushes red. “Come on! We need to hear everything!”

As soon as Seb arrives, Kourtney shuffles away from Carlos to make room for Seb. It’s sort of an unspoken thing, but they really appreciate it. And they kind of can’t help but immediately grab onto Carlos’s hand underneath the table as soon as they sit down. Carlos grins. 

Their smile today is electric. And everybody can tell. 

“You’re both here now, guys, spill everything!” The whole table seems to be buzzing with excitement. 

“We can’t,” says Seb, but their grin tells otherwise. 

They totally spill everything together, and the whole table finds it all fascinating. And a great deal adorable, too.

And it’s almost as amazing remembering as the real thing was this morning. 

God, their friends...

They really did have the most incredible friends a person could ever ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so so so much if you read this whole thing it means so much to me !!! leave a kudos and maybe a comment , if u want ! i would love to read what y’all thought about it or if i should write more for this fandom ? :D 
> 
> i am relatively new to the online fandom of this show so i’d love to make some friends who like the show too! i love talking to new people ! ! 
> 
> thanks again !


End file.
